All funked up

There was this kid, back in school, who eventually became one of my best friends by the time we passed out. Sadly though, after school, I kind of lost touch with most of my friends. After all, we didn't have cell phones back then, nor had emails and social networking sites caught up by then. A year after I joined college, I heard that that this friend of mine (Henceforth referred to as Scully) had fallen ill. I got in touch with him and spoke to him a couple of times, in the following year. Then a year later, roaming on the street, I ran into another friend from school and he took me meet Scully. Scully was weak, unlike the person I had known, who was athletic and energetic. I was really disturbed. Years passed by, and we didn't speak. I wasn't that I didn't care, it was just that I, like an ostrich, just wanted to bury my head in the ground. I did care about him and kept tabs on him though. It was always awkward conversing with him, and I avoided doing so. So anyway, I am headed to the town he is in, and recently contacted him again. I heard he wasn't doing so well, and for some reason, tears started pouring from my eyes. I really don't remember when the last time was when I cried, but I don't think I've had my eyes water this way in over a decade and a half. I sobbed myself to sleep and got up with puffy eyes. I am still wondering what had happened. Was it the kid in me who started crying? Were there other emotions which were triggered like an avalanche by this conversation. I've always wished Scully the best, and thought of him occasionally. I had always imagined Scully getting better, but that was never the case. I had often considered calling him, but never did get to it. Even my mother had noticed this reluctance to call Scully, and had asked me to get my head out of the ground. I wonder sometimes, if I was a good friend, not having bothered to check up on an ill friend. I really don't know what to say. Though I would be lying if I told you Scully had nothing to do with this upcoming trip of mine. I really really wanted to meet him, and now I am reluctant again.