Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Start trying to catch up M***** F*****

Going crazy listening to this song "When they come for me" by Linkin Park. I just love it when my rear view mirror vibrates to the beat of this song. There is something about this song that really appeals to me; it may be the beat, or may be the prompt to catch up in the lyrics, but each time I play this song, I can notice a change in my driving style. It's been a while since I have been hearing these words in my head, long before this song even came out, and each time it played in my head, I felt motivated. Ironically, I'd only recently stopped hearing these words, and thought I had finally caught up to the shadow I was chasing. Things had started to settle down, but along came this song and stirred things up. Pumped up again, I am ready to go. Funny how decisions are taken with so much ease when you are are all pumped up and raring to go. I am still as confused and unsure as I ever was, but I will still go ahead with the impulsive decision I have taken, like I always do. *Fingers crossed*

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I quit!!!

I am not a quitter, that's not how I was brought up. I have my numerous failures to prove that I'm not a quitter, but now I believe the time has come for me to quit. Wait before I begin, I can think of the one thing I did quit, but quitting it was actually me not quitting on myself. I am talking about cigarettes. Still stare at them sometimes, it even inspired a nice rhyme a while back. But I am here to discuss a different topic today. I am here because I had started giving too much time of my life to my work, and frankly, I do not see myself gain much from it. Sure people at work look up to me, and I do get the feeling sometimes that I have made up for most of my lost year, but something is still missing. It was during my week of illness that I realized how obsessed I was with my work. In fact, I have nothing to speak with anyone other than my work. It was then that I decided it was time to dial it down a few notches. So this week I worked on my own terms (my boss not being available helped me do so) came home on time, and have read 3 books this week (started a 4th one). For some reason, I still am not satisfied. There is so much more to life than work, yet I can't get work out of my head. I realized that I have alienated almost everybody, except those who work with me. I wonder what I should do now. I wish I knew what I wanted. I wonder if I will be able to get rid of the anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I wonder if anyone has died of uncertainty. I wonder if i should quit working hard, or quit altogether. Or may be just take a vacation, come back, and continue with the way things are going; after all, I am no quitter.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Nothing to watch

I have been in bed for a week now. Friggin awful it is, not doing anything. I have been flicking through channels mindlessly and can't think of anything to do. So I decided to put down everything that I see on TV. So here it goes :

0. Star world : Moment of truth.
1. Zee Cafe : Full on (R&B music)
2. AXN : Some magic show.
3. Star Movies : Kill Switch.
4. HBO : Some Movie in Mexico, involving tribals killing tourists.
5. Zee Studio : Ads, Hope Springs starting soon.
6. Sony Pix : Ads, Closer starting soon.
7. Discovery (Hindi) : Elephants v/s Rhinos.
8. Discovery Turbo : Paul Teutul on OC Choppers.
9. Discovery Science : Some Construction show.
10. Animal planet : Gazelles and Hyenas.
11. TLC (Formerly Travel n Living) : Woman stretching and exercising.
12. VH1 : Cranky songs.
13. Times Now : Some breaking news.
14. CNN IBN : Some breaking news.
15. ET Now : Market Analysis.
16. Set Max : Boring Hindi movie I have seen.
17. DD Something : Cannot decipher.
18. Channel V : Something other than music.
19. Cable operator's channel 1 : Dhoom 2
20. Cable operator's channel 2 : Birthday greetings to toddlers.
21. DD Rajya Sabha : The good ol' Vertical coloured lines, but blinking and beeping
22. Sahara Samay : Some Pathertic Comedy show originally screened on Sony.
23. Blank Channel : N/A
24. SAB TV : Familiar TV actors dressed up as Gods for a play.
25. Star News : Suhil Kumar's Interview.
26. Zee Something : Can't Decipher.
27. Zee Something : Can't Decipher.
28. Zee Marathi : Ads.
29. Me Marathi : Crazy show.
30. India TV : Crazy report about how 2 "Pheras" short ruined a marriage.
31. P7News : Ayodhya issue | Naxalites (evergreen topics)
32. Bloomberg UTV : Orient Green Power press conference.
33. Star Plus : Sick village soap.
34. Sony : Regular soap.
35. Star Gold : Sickening hindi movie from the 90's.
36. Star Pravah : Marathi Ads.
37. DD National : Sick Soap.
38. Colors : Some Game Show.
39. DD News : Report on Nadal.
40. Star Alive : Camera for sale.
41. Zee TV : Ads, Probably a sick soap.
42. Lok Sabha : Pubic service ads.
43. Aaj Tak : Movie trailers.
44. Star Majha : Marathi Ads.
45. Cable Operator Channel 3 : Strange movie from the 80's.
46. Zee News : Dance Show performances.
47. CNBC Aawaz : Business stuff.
48. Star One : Sick soap.
49. MTV : Something other than music.
50. Headlines Today : Funny clips.
51. Nick : Oriental Animations.
52. CNBC TV18 : Market Analysis.
53. E Tv Marathi : Sick Marathi talk show.
54. Zoom : Movie songs.
55. INX News : Report on ragging menace.
56. News 24 : Some Glamor show.
57. 9X : Movie Songs.
58. Home Shop 18 : Selling Jewelery.

Bah... My eyes started hurting, and so I had to switch of the TV and close my eyes. Anyway, the week has gone by and the weekend is here again, and I wonder what I'm gonna do. Bored to death.