Sunday, September 26, 2010

I quit!!!

I am not a quitter, that's not how I was brought up. I have my numerous failures to prove that I'm not a quitter, but now I believe the time has come for me to quit. Wait before I begin, I can think of the one thing I did quit, but quitting it was actually me not quitting on myself. I am talking about cigarettes. Still stare at them sometimes, it even inspired a nice rhyme a while back. But I am here to discuss a different topic today. I am here because I had started giving too much time of my life to my work, and frankly, I do not see myself gain much from it. Sure people at work look up to me, and I do get the feeling sometimes that I have made up for most of my lost year, but something is still missing. It was during my week of illness that I realized how obsessed I was with my work. In fact, I have nothing to speak with anyone other than my work. It was then that I decided it was time to dial it down a few notches. So this week I worked on my own terms (my boss not being available helped me do so) came home on time, and have read 3 books this week (started a 4th one). For some reason, I still am not satisfied. There is so much more to life than work, yet I can't get work out of my head. I realized that I have alienated almost everybody, except those who work with me. I wonder what I should do now. I wish I knew what I wanted. I wonder if I will be able to get rid of the anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I wonder if anyone has died of uncertainty. I wonder if i should quit working hard, or quit altogether. Or may be just take a vacation, come back, and continue with the way things are going; after all, I am no quitter.

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