Scarred... For life?

When ever people interact, they inevitably scar each other. Now I don't mean actually physical scars (even though quite a few people have given me those as well :P ), but deeper metaphorical ones. The worst part is that there doesn't even have to be an exchange of words for people to affect you. Most times you are lucky, and the scars are only superficial, and soon disappear. Sometimes though, they last a lifetime. Moving on to actual physical scars (my inspiration for this post), each of em have a story to tell. Like this tiny black dot where I was stabbed with a pencil as a kid, or the scar near my lip where my sister hit me and I lied to my parents about it. Physical or metaphorical, I've got quite a few of them that appear that they would last me a lifetime. However, I think I'm ready to come out of my cocoon and be scarred again.

How to erase memories and forget stuff?

Bored and frustrated, trying to distract myself from my monotonous life, I went and bought myself a camera. Yes it's a DSLR. Having always enjoyed photography, but never having ha decent camera, I bought phones with cameras which were ahead of their times, and I even clicked some decent pictures with em. However, when I used a friends camera over a road trip that we made, I was in awe of the control one could have over light. It took me a while to justify the expense (and to pool in the money) but eventually, I ended up buying one too. It's amazing how quickly I got comfortable using it, and now am even planning to buy lenses, filters and other stuff for it. I got a feeling, that my camera is gonna be a bigger white elephant than my bike, especially since I didn't earn when I was passionate about bikes, limiting my expenses, but now there is nothing holding me back. Oh, and for those of you who see things from my perspective and wish to follow me, you can Google my real name, and my photo blog does show up in the lower half of the first page. I've even started a Flickr stream if you'd like to follow me there.

The andro post.

So where have I been all this while? Well, "lost" is the word that best explains it. I have been in a world of my own, cut off from everybody, waiting. I have been wondering for a while now, as to what I am gonna do next, but all I end up doing is waiting. But now that I am back, I do hope I post another one soon. One, in which I can put down a lot more, for this is all I can type on my tiny phone. With hopes of being back soon, with a longer post, I leave you with a picture of my latest (though not so new anymore) possession.

Living on the edge

I was watching this movie the other day (too lazy to Google it's name) which had this line which went like "There is only so much failure a man can take". Now this was one line that sent chills down my spine. Sometimes I wonder whether I am on the edge, or have I been pushed off the ledge. I sure hope it's the former. Each morning, I wait for the day to end; Each Monday, I wait for the week to end; Each 1st I wait for the month to end. I wait, promising myself a better tomorrow. I really don't know, what I expect out of life, all I know is that I need a change. Change is a funny thing you know, at least for me it is. I look forward to it, and when it time for the change, I have a tendency to resist it. But then again, isn't change a quintessential requirement of life?

I'm hanging by my fingertips, I can't see what's below.

If only I could see beneath me, I might just let go.

Me against myself.

As is customary for bloggers, I thought I'd go with the new year post as well, and to do so, I decided to bring back the how-goes-life graph I'd used a couple of years ago. But we will get to the graph later. So anyway, this year was in a way good, but over all not as satisfying, as I'd hoped it would be. Of course, I've changed a lot over this past year, more for the better than for the worse, but I don't like the new me. It's been a year filled with self-control, injected with spurts of momentary madness, but I have calmed down a lot, I believe this is what they call getting mature. Though I have alienated myself from quite a few people, and am lonely all of a sudden, but I also discovered, that I loved travelling alone. I believe I've made good progress at work this year, though I am bit unsure whether I have been able to do the same with respect to my career. It's been a year filled with mixed emotions. I realized, how much I loved to spend, and with it, I also experienced how insecure it felt to be broke. I barely watched any movies this past year, and also, barely listened to any music, and thus my year was kinda bland. This was a year I wondered a lot about my future, though I never decided on doing anything for it. May be that was a decision in itself. A lotta things started making sense this past year, and an equal amount, if not more, felt amiss. Let bygones be bygones, all that matters is that I survived. I hope I can untangle my life a bit in the year 2011. As for the how-goes-life graph, here it is...

Oh, and as for my resolutions for this year, I intend to lead a healthier lifestyle (better diet, and a bit of exercising) and to drive/ride slower.

The day full of 'almost's.

The end of the year is almost here, and ironically, today was filled with 'almost's. Well, to start with, I almost got up time today. And when I did get up, I almost went for a morning walk, almost keeping true to my to-be new-year resolution. Following that, I almost ditched my parents, who wanted to take me to this place I didn't want to go to. Next I almost ran over a kid, which was the one thing I don't regret, was only an almost. Then in the afternoon, I almost took a nap, and almost ignored my bike's maintenance, coz of which I have almost no fingerprints on one of my index fingers. Then I almost got Tres a key-chain that read her name. I almost went to meet a friend who was too lazy to come meet me, and I almost ditched the one who wasn't. Also, like many of my other ones, I almost did not publish this post. It's a funny thing you know, I didn't do any of the things I wanted to do, yet I wouldn't call today a bad day. On the contrary, I'd say it was a rather decent day. I guess, as long as I keep doing something or the other, I'm satisfied.

To be or not to be

Hmmm, so I get up this morning, and surprisingly I still remember the dream I had had. Of all the things in the world, it was about this blog of mine. I dreamt about how awful my rhymes were and was embarrassed, when I was linked to this blog. Now it's not that many people follow me here, but I think there are a coupla kooks who silently follow my blog post's titles :P The reason I blog, is to let off some steam, and deleting the blog is not an option, at least not at the moment. However, I could stop rhyming in public, at least for a while. I wonder if I should add 'will not rhyme' to my new year resolution list. Oh yeah, I've already started with it. Numero uno on the list is to lead a healthier life style, followed closely by being slower on the road. Although I've been trying to get a head-start on the first one and I haven't been successful at it, things have been brighter with the second to-be-resolution. I've certainly become a more mature driver, interrupted by spurts of rash maneuvers. I'm disappointed by the fact that Blur's Song 2, still makes my revs go up. But I still have hope for my self. The end of the year is almost here, I have high hopes for the coming year. Filled with uncertainties, it is definitely going to be an exciting one. Anyway, there is still a little time left before the year ends, but not much for the day to end. I must retire now. Gotta at least try to get up early tomorrow, and may be, just may be, I might even flex a few muscles, ie, if I manage to get up on time without setting an alarm :P